Tuesday, 22 November 2011

100WCGU wk #20


The prompt this week is to use at least one of these for inspiration.
…the powers that be  /  the apple of his eye  /   the writing on the wall…

It was early in the Autumn
When she took herself away.
The trees in our orchard cried leaves for her;
She was the apple of their eye, their Mistress.

She said it was, "Inevitable".
Powers that be had deemed it so and so it was
Fruitless to pursue it.

Her one way trip.

The marks of her passing are writ large on the cold orchard walls.
They are writ larger, though, in me.

22 comments:

  1. That's beautiful and I love the way you broke up the phrase of writing on the wall.

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  2. Thank you, Lisa. I'm glad you liked it. I was struggling to fit it in any other way! Sometimes the best ideas happen by accident!

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  3. I love your poem - it really spoke to me. I like the way you have used a verse per phrase.

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  4. This made me feel very sad. I find poetry very emotional - especially when it is such good poetry!

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  5. This is written so beautifully. It flows well and is evocative of times gone by.

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  6. Hi Ali, thanks for the comment. I didn't notice I'd done that about the phrases per verse at all but it did seem to fit.

    Lynda, thank you for the comment too - and the compliment :) I'm glad you liked it.

    Anna, thanks for commenting. I was trying to make it flow in a sad way, I'm happy it did the job!

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  7. Great stuff, Jim!
    I particularly like "The trees in our orchard cried leaves for her".

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  8. Another versifier! I was just struck by the single word "fruitless" since it could relate to a barren orchard. Deliberate choice or Freudian? Either way, an interesting and powerful take on the theme, Jim!
    Oh, and stop stealing my avatar ideas ;-) Gotta love South Park!

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  9. Hi Colin,

    Deliberate choice! And as for the Avatar, we must have both supplied at that school! :p

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  10. This is beautful Jim. I always really admire people who can write poetry - especially when it's as well written as this one.

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  11. Great piece. Glad someone else chose verse too. :)

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  12. "The trees in our orchard cried leaves for her;" Unforgettable.

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  13. How sad and yet beautiful to be remembered with such love.

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  14. Thank you all for your comments, they're really lovely!

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  15. Sad. Love the symbolism of Autum that you have used. I don't know why, but this reminds me of "On Ragland Road"

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  16. Sad and so wonderfully written. Love the way you have split up one of the prompts. Sounds very Autumn. x

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  17. Poignant. Clever. Thought provoking, not the least for the unique ide of breaking up a phrase :)

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  18. Hi Bill, thanks for the comment. I just read Raglan Rd for the first time now, it's fantastic! Glad I was able to evoke similar feelings.

    Hi Susan, thank you, too. I'm glad you liked it.

    Hi Taochild, Again, thank you for the comment. I broke the phrase up by accident. Sometimes the best things are accidental!

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  19. I too love the crying leaves Jim. This is very poignant. It is definitely an autumn piece with the sadness of the coming of winter. Super Jim!

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  20. Beautiful poem. I love the orchard trees weeping leaves. It is very sad, but then, life often is. Well done!

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  21. Love the construction, flows so well . . G Sussex

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